so life still sucks but it could always get worse.. I hate feeling empty.. I wish she would suffer as much as she made me suffer every second every day without even knowing it, and at the same time I wish she could be the only person in the world who never had to suffer..cuz I care about her.. but eventually it will get better.. I wish it was hot and green outside.. but I know for sure that will get better in a few months.. I need to prepare myself over the break for next semester. I need to prepare myself to be a leader in the ccf house. I need to take the initiative to study 2 hours for every hour in class like everyone knows they should, and spend daily time with God seeking him so I will be able to lead bible studies and encourage others and find more joy. I would love to have more joy in my life..
I need more encouragement before I can do too much with my garden. I see the garden like art. The soil is my canvas and the seeds are my paint. If I'm not feeling inspired I cant grow things as well..
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